Center for Mediation, Peace, and Resolution of Conflict, International, Inc.

Test Yourself!

1). When a person keeps talking without a pause do you…

             a) Politely interrupt

             b) Talk over them

             c) Wait for them to finish


2). When another person is talking do you…

             a) Focus on what you want to say next

             b) Listen, trying to pick out the main issues

             c) Wait for them to finish so you can make your own point


3). When you don’t understand what the other person is saying do you…

             a) Assume that know what they are trying to say

             b) Yell at them that they don’t make any sense

             c) Ask them for clarification


4). When another person is talking do you…

             a) Nod your head in understanding

             b) Stare off into space

             c) Cross your arms


5). In an argument do you…

             a) Assume that you know the motives of the other party

             b) Ask questions to discover the underlying issues that they other party has

             c) Take what the other person is saying at face value


6). Bringing up past issues in a conflict …

             a) Is sometimes acceptable

             b) Is a great weapon

             c) Should be avoided


7). In an argument yelling is…

             a) An effective way to show emotion

             b) Is bad, trying to stay calm is better

             c) Bad only if it hurts the other person’s feelings


8). When you feel like you are not being understood do you…

             a) Try and explain things again in a different way

             b) Get angry

             c) Repeat yourself


9). When listening it is…

             a) Fine to stare off into space as long as you are listening

             b) Important to have good eye contact

             c) Unimportant to pay attention


10). If you want to leave the argument do you…

             a) Stomp off and slam the door

             b) Yell something like “I’ve had it!” and walk off

             c) Calmly explain that you need some space to clam down and think


Answer Key and Point Values


1.          a= 2                                b=1                                 c=3

2.          a=1                                 b=3                                 c=2

3.          a=2                                 b=1                                 c=3

4.          a=3                                 b=2                                 c=1

5.          a=1                                 b=3                                 c=2

6           a=2                                 b=1                                 c=3

7.          a=1                                 b=3                                 c=2

8.          a=3                                 b=1                                 c=2

9.          a=2                                 b=3                                 c=1

10.        a =1                                b=2                                 c=3


30-25 points

You are a good communicator! You are on the right track towards effective communication. If you maintain this attitude you will be able to prevent conflicts from escalating and your personal relationships will benefit.


24-18 points

You have the potential to become a good communicator but there is still room for improvement. Remember to listen closely to what the other person is saying and to think before you react.


17-10 points

There’s still a lot of work to do. Your ability to communicate is not the best in the world and you tend to over react, making awkward situations worse. You need to calm down and separate the person from the problem.